From the recordings Afterthought to Afterglow and It Must Be Retrograde
"It Must Be Retrograde" was born from those weeks where absolutely nothing goes right—the laptop dies mid-presentation, a bird targets your sandwich, your calendar betrays you, and somehow your ex shows up with someone who looks like a younger, fresher version of you. I wrote this song as a cosmic shrug at the chaos. It's for anyone who's ever needed something—anything—to blame when the universe seems determined to test your patience. Mercury retrograde became the perfect scapegoat for all of life's absurd little disasters. But underneath the humor, this song carries a gentle truth: like turbulent skies and bumpy roads, these moments pass. The glitches are temporary. The flight smooths out. We always get through. So laugh at the chaos, blame the planets, and know that this too shall pass.
Lyrics
Well, I was king of the digital domain
Ready to show the shareholders the gain
I clicked "share screen" with a victorious grin
Then my laptop sighed and gave up right then
No warning, no beep, not a flicker of light
Just plunged into darkness in the middle of the meeting
I shook my head, and I had to confess...
I got the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
Oh, the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
From a bird with bad aim to a tire laid flat
This universe has got my number, and that is that!
My calendar's a liar, my tech's all on the fritz
It's enough to make a grown person have a fits!
Yeah, I got the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
Decided to escape for a peaceful lunch
Had a turkey on rye, had a hunch
It was a good day, despite the rough start
'Til a pigeon performed his Picasso on my art
Then I saw my ex-boo in our old favorite booth
With someone who looks like my 2012 youth!
I just raised my glass, and I had to confess...
I got the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
Oh, the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
From a bird with bad aim to a tire laid flat
This universe has got my number, and that is that!
My calendar's a liar, my tech's all on the fritz
It's enough to make a grown person have a fits!
Yeah, I got the Mercury Retrograde Mess!
But even the longest traffic jam clears
And the stormiest sky will dry all your tears
It's just three weeks of cosmic delay
A little pratfall in the cosmic play
So hang on tight, it'll be past soon
We'll all be back in cosmic tune!
Gonna change that tire!
Gonna reschedule that call!
Gonna clean this shirt, and stand up tall!
Mercury, you rascal, you've had your fun!
But my sense of humor? You can't outrun!
No, you can't outrun!
This mess is almost done!
Yeah, this mess is almost... done!